good food bad food

Food Is NOT the Enemy, Self-Bullying Is!

I want to talk to you about food. For many of you, food creates tension, confusion, love/hate, pleasure, guilt, shame, and secrecy.However, food is never the enemy.
 cooking food

Society Is to Blame

Food is neither good or bad but we as a society have assigned moral values to food. So what happens is that when you eat a food, you believe is “bad”, then you consciously and unconsciously see yourself as a bad person for eating that food.

society
Yes, there is scientific research that states that specific foods are “good” for you and other kinds of foods are “bad” for you because of their nutritional profile. However, I invite you to be a food scientist, and rather than seeing things as good or bad, to ask yourself: ‘Does this food serve me or not?’

Good Food Versus Bad Food -You Decide

healthy fruit saladThe best educator if a food is going to serve you or not is you and your body! To determine if a food serves you or not ask yourself the following questions before you eat the food (as a baseline), and right after you eat the food, two hours after you eat it, and the next morning.
  1. How are my energy levels? Low, moderate, or high?
  2. How is my mental clarity? Do I have brain fog or am I able to focus and concentrate? Is my mental clarity sharp?
  3. How is my mood: irritable, stable, or angry?  (note: Not the same as how you are feeling about eating that food because your answer will always be guilt).
  4. How is my digestive health: bloated, clear, or constipated?
  5. How did I sleep last night?
Track these questions every time you eat your “forbidden food”. You will see if there are actually negative effects on your inner health. Do not focus so much on what you think and know about the food  based on what you have learned about it from outside resources. Be a food scientist and use yourself as the subject.

People React Differently to Food

good and bad foodHow certain food affects one person may have a very different effect on another person. For example, my husband can eat granola and not have sugar hangover, whereas for me, when I have granola (in appropriate serving size), my belly starts to hurt and my head starts to spin. So if I choose to eat granola, I make it a conscious decision that I am also choosing to accept the consequences. That means I will not beat myself up for enjoying it and experiencing the negative effects on my body afterwards. I take it for what it is and move on.
You may be surprised to learn that what you thought was bad for you, may actually not have any negative impact on you. Sometimes, however, it may confirm that it does! Ultimately, this is how you can start neutralizing your food and stop seeing food as good or bad.
Food is not the enemy…bullying yourself is!
Food is just food.  You can change your story. You can change the way you respond to food, regardless of what it is.
I’d love to hear from you about how your food scientist experience is! 🙂 What did you learn?

Want to get more high-value insights about how to discover Freedom With Food, Body Love Confidence and Being Your Own Best Friend? 

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Rosalyn Fung The ZeitRosalyn Fung is a Registered Psychologist & Founder of Holistic Body Love. She is a wellness speaker, consultant, mentor, writer & blogger. Roz specializes in Holistic Nutritional Psychology in which she empowers people in their relationship with food, body image, weight, as well as digestion, fatigue, immunity and mood.

Her approach is a combination of eating psychology, positive psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, family systems and nutritional therapy. She’s the go-to person to help you understand how to feel normal around food, and break-free from body image and weight struggles.

Follow Rosalyn on Facebook at Rosalyn Fung Holistic Body Love-Psychologist

Twitter: @RosalynFung

Instagram: @holisticbodylove

Blog: Pausitivity 

Connect with someone

When was the Last Time You Connected with Someone?

life transformationI just recently took a 5-day personal development course put on by Creators Code, called “The Launch” on June 1st. It transformed me to another chapter in my journey called ‘life’. This was no ordinary personal development course. It is an experiential course that was 10-12 hours each day and we dived in deep! This course really inspired me to write this post.

 

I am Like You So Listen

I am here today blogging not as a psychologist but rather as just me- Rosalyn. I am not wearing my therapist hat, the wife, mom, sister, or daughter hat, I am here just like you, a regular human being. I see myself first as a human and my other roles as secondary. And what I learned from this personal development course is that sometimes who I am as a therapist hijacks my ability to be human. Although I show up authentically real with my clients: supporting, loving, direct (I call bullshit when I see it), I also have parts of me that I don’t show, because it isn’t appropriate or professional.  No one wants to see their therapist have a meltdown, right?😉

So my point is that sometimes I fear that people will be shocked when I express the range of human experiences in my personal life because “I’m a therapist and I should know better”. But guess what?  I sometimes get angry and scream at my kids. Sometimes I play small because I don’t want to seem like I am bragging or being too much. Other times I have moments of self-consciousness about my body, sometimes I am guarded, sometimes I zone out on Facebook because I don’t want to deal with life. These all sound like familiar behaviors to some of you, right? Yeah, we all have tactics for showing up in the world as a way to emotionally protect ourselves.

Who You and I Really Are

My work is to help people come back into their wholeness and essence of who they were when they were born – which is pure love, light, and joy. I sometimes forget to do this for myself because I am so passionate about helping others. I forget about me, but during this course, I was able to reconnect with that little girl in me that remembers playfulness, silliness, coloring outside the lines, and being unapologetically me.

rediscover the little girl in you

Can you imagine a world where we could all get back to being in our true essence? When we didn’t have to please anyone, play small so we don’t have to hurt others’ feelings, or toughen up because we don’t feel safe, disconnect from our heart because someone hurt it too many times. Imagine if we could speak the truth to one another without worrying about offending anyone. What about receiving feedback from others without feeling judged or offended?

I have this dream and I truly believe I’m on the path to contributing to it both professionally and personally. My dream and passion are to become a conscious loving human being and help others do the same. This entails being so aware not only of ourselves but also of those around us. Being conscious and collective where we love our neighbors and strangers. Showing up with kindness and compassion to ourselves and one another. Can you imagine the ripple effects this would create out in the world if people started to raise their level of self-love and loving presence to one another? There would eventually be less war, less violence, less bullying, less judgment, less shame, less abuse, less racism, less oppression, and less hate. Instead, there would be more peace, love, environmental awareness, and happiness, within ourselves and with those around us. There would be a sense of community.

So my whole point of this is to share with you how precious you are and to reflect on who you are when you aren’t wearing your different masks. This dream starts by learning to love yourself.

We were all once a young child, precious, perfect, and sweet. Who wouldn’t want to go back to before all the rules and experiences came along; before people started  telling us how to behave or not to behave. When you get blamed, usually someone else allows themselves to judge what you did as bad and put that on you. Then we form a story that we are bad because we are told so. So go back to remembering who you are before all that happened. Most of us won’t be able to, but most of us can probably think of a little newborn baby and immediately we melt, we ooooh and ahhhhh, and we think this baby is perfect. Well, that baby still is the essence of you.

Baby blogging

An Experiment for You to Try

I have an experiment for you to try to create a powerful and heartwarming experience:

The next time you are with a loved one, it could be your partner, a dear friend, sibling, your child (best if the child is 6 or older), or parent. Tell them that you’d like to try connecting with them in a way that you may not have done in a long time, and it involves touch and silence and a lot of heart.

I invite you to face that person, and hold each other’s hands; just look at each other in the eyes, keep eye contact, and just see if you can really see them. I realize it may feel awkward at first., so let the awkward feelings come up. Breathe; let the awkwardness pass and breathe some more. See if you can even match the rhythm of your breath together as you continue to look into each other’s eyes. Keep breathing so that your breath connects with your heart and then your belly as you continue to hold your gaze with each other.connect with child

Many people believe that our eyes are the windows to our soul.

So notice that this person that’s in front of you once was a child, precious, perfect, and sweet. Also, notice that this part of them still lives in them. Then notice your own experience in your body as you become aware of the other person’s preciousness as well as your own. In that very moment, appreciate this about the other person and in yourself. In that moment you do not have to please, play small, wall up, avoid, zone out, get defensive, or whatever you do to protect yourself from the world. You are just you being here having this experience; you are connected in your essence. Continue reading

self-love and body transformation

Tips for Developing Self-Love While Transforming Your Body

For those of you just reading this now, as a Food & Body Image Psychologist, I wanted to demonstrate to you that you can go on a Body Transformation AND (learn to) Love Yourself. You can read about this on my previous blog here. 

I’ve been on this Body Transformation & Self-Love journey for almost 8 weeks now with Coach Nadine Dumas, and wanted to share some insights on my takeaways so far from my own experiences. Note that everyone’s experiences would be different since we’re all different individuals with our own histories. 

I am writing in a perspective that will hopefully help you gain tips for how to emotionally and mentally grow on your own SELF-LOVE and BODY TRANSFORMATION journey.  

My idea of a Body Transformation and Self-Love Journey is not about how much weight or inches I’ve lost or showing you my before/after photos because, although this is bound to happen, it’s not the point of it. This is about showing you how to LOVE YOURSELF from INSIDE OUT while your body is transforming. 

Self-love starts with Self-Care

Self- Love Starts withself-Care.jpg

What does self-love actually mean? It’s 2 parts:

1) Self Love is appreciating you (just like you do with loved ones) 

2) Self -Love is action oriented. It’s engaging in action that supports your psychological, emotional, physical, physiological, and spiritual well-being.  In other words, self-care activities.

Take your before and progress photos from a Place of Respect for Your Body

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How many of you cringe, pick apart your body, focus on what else needs improvement about your body when you take your before and/or progress pictures? I know I used to. Even if I could see progress, I would still be picking apart my body for what else needed improvement.

Please don’t do that. You only show your body more disgust and hate. And you know what your body’s doing? Listening to you. And what happens when you treat something with disgust and hate? It won’t love you back. It will fight you back. So in your body’s case, it will fight you back with physical symptoms such as plateauing, weight gain, bloating, digestive issues, illness, and other unwanted symptoms. Emotionally? It will feel heavy, drained, stressed, tired, sad, lonely, exhausted, burnt out, angry, hopeless, shame.

So when/if you take before and progress photos, please focus on how amazing your body already is, no matter what shape/size/weight you are now- this machine that gives you life, the ability to move from place A to B, the ability to breath, to feel, to walk, run, climb, crawl, dance, hug, touch, make love, hold a loved one, write, sing, paint, create, explore, relax, etc. Respect and be grateful for your body, and it will show you love back in the “symptoms” of energy, vitality, positive thinking, mental clarity, great digestive health as well as feeling happiness, purpose, meaning, hope, love, joy, freedom, peace, and so much more!

Eating healthy is self-care, therefore, health eating is self-love. However, it’s only one aspect of self-care.

As part of being in the journey, it’s about putting some attention and focus on my relationship with food for some of the time, but for the most part of my life, have it as something in the background (rather than the foreground). The rest of the time, I’m focusing on all the awesome aspects of my life! Eating foods that nourish my body will give me the brain power I need to serve myself and others, to be a great mom, wife, friend, psychologist, mentor, speaker and give me the ability to grow and challenge myself continuously. Continue reading

relationship with food

A New Take On Body Positivity: Body Image & Food Psychologist Goes on a “Diet”

What?! Roz is going on a diet!? Huh!?

Ok, ok, for those of you who know my work, you know that as a Psychologist, I successfully help people break free from dieting and body image struggles. So why am I hiring someone to “diet” me?

In a previous blog post I wrote called “Can I Still Be on a Diet AND A Journey of Self-Love?“, I talk about a trend I’ve been noticing with my clients and in social media regarding body positivity, which is that when people are in the process of learning to love themselves, they tend to go through a ‘rebellion’ stage from the ‘dieting mentality’. I call this the Pendulum Effect, where dieting, mentality, is based on fear of fat and self-loathing. Then as people break away from dieting mentality, they swing to the other side of the pendulum, which I coined ‘Rebellion Mentality’. Here they tend to indulge in foods that they were not allowed to eat while in ‘Dieting Mentality’. However, they are in the process of self-love so it’s coming from a place of learning to love oneself and breaking food rules. This is a very necessary, healthy, and normal part of learning to love yourself – to break all these food rules that ran their life for years.

I am inspired by people and I love inspiring people. So although I do not believe I need to transform my body as I love it unconditionally, I believe I have the RIGHT to transform my body. As a project to demonstrate and inspire others, I want to show people how to transform their bodies (whether that’s fat loss, muscle gain, or body composition change) with their relationship with food in the background and self-love in the foreground. In dieting mentality, it’s all about being obsessed with food and fear of gaining weight. The missing ingredient is Self-Love.

I have hired Nadine Dumas, who is a health, fitness & nutritional coach, as well as an international fitness model and long time friend to “diet” me. She shares similar values and approach as I do when it comes to  our relationship with food and body. She is all about inside health (balanced hormones, mood, energy, etc.) and has a very balanced approach to food. She has a strong work ethic, a big heart, and is very inspirational in all that she’s accomplished. She is an awesome coach to work with!

BLASTING THE DIET INDUSTRY WITH A MASSIVE DOSE OF “SELF-LOVE”

Now I should clarify, I am not using “Diet” in the same traditional sense that most people know it to be (i.e., rigid, restrictive and from a place of fear of fat, self-loathing, and body shame/hate), rather I’m actually seeing this as a “Nutritional Plan” that will help me meet my body transformation goals. I am of healthy weight and body composition, however, I’d like to challenge my body more with new fitness and health goals (i.e., gain overall strength and power and yes, physically that means I will change my body composition so that I have more lean muscle mass). I want to learn more about my body along the way as I think our bodies are so amazing and fascinating!

I will be counting on Nadine’s expertise in the nutritional, hormonal, physical and physiological areas. I will also use my own expertise in positive psychology, nutritional psychology, and neuroscience to help me transform my body with a massive dose of Self-Love. Continue reading

Tennis lessons for life

4 Lessons from Tennis That Successful People Use and Why You Should Too for Achieveing Your Goals

1- Keep your eye on the ball

keep your eye on the ballA key component of a winning strategy in tennis is keeping your eye on the ball. No matter what an opponent does, a player is in control of the game as long as she keeps her eye on the ball.

“I’ve watched and played countless hours of tennis and whether it is Wimbledon or the Australian Open or the local court, I’ve never once seen a player win a match by looking at the scoreboard. Champions keep their eye firmly focused on the ball and let the scoreboard take care of itself.”

Catherine DeVrye, 2x  Australian Keynote Speaker of the Year

As you try to lose weight, get fitter, become healthier, or change your lifestyle, it is sometimes hard to focus on the core activities that can get you there successfully. There is a difference between focussing on your core activities and just fulfilling them. Most get caught up in the running of the day-to-day life that it can get hard to give the personal touch to what you really should be doing to achieve your goals.

In a world full of temptation, how will you get ahead of the curve and reach your destination if you do not keep your eye on the ball and give your utmost to getting what you want?

Some of the most succesful people in the world are unfairly dubbed ‘stubborn’. But they are not, they just know what they want to achieve and anything that distracts them from their goal is left out of their lives. This means that sometimes they go against the advice of loved ones, stop trying to please everyone, and keep their eyes firmly focused on what they set out to attain. That is all that matters to them. Continue reading

To Transform or not to Transform

Orange Caterpillar

Are you afraid of transforming into a better you ? Image by Twobee

The Monarch caterpillar has no choice.  From the time it emerges out into the world to become an eating machine, it has but one destiny: it will transform into a Monarch Butterfly.  It is a necessary part of its life cycle. It begins life in one form and will end it in an entirely different form. We consider this transformation to be an amazing feat of nature, and yet in viewing it with such awe, we forget that we ourselves often transform in even more dramatic and powerful ways.

There is a crucial difference though: We have a choice: To transform or not to transform?

I work with people who want something better for themselves, for their lives. They are not happy with where they are, and they desire to move into a place that they believe will make them happier, more fulfilled. In the course of my work, I often see people make amazing transformations.  Nervous, frightened, timid, anxious people become confident powerhouses of performance and excellence. They transform.

But then they want to transform. They are willing to take the steps and do the work that brings about that transformation. They desire and so choose the transformation.  Not all people who are at a miserable place in their lives choose to make such transformations.  They know they can become the beautiful, free butterfly, but they opt for remaining the caterpillar and all the limitations that go with that choice. They do this largely out of fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of becoming something more, which will introduce a more complex set of responsibilities to their lives. Continue reading

10 Quotes That You Need to Implement in Your Life Immediately

Based on actual events that never happened:

Paul and Hilary

That Paul sure is “Mr. Know-it-all”pffff – Image by David Castillo Dominici

Paul:  “Hey Hilary how’s your book about losing weight in the winter going?”

Hilary: “I don’t know; it’s kind of slow, I need some inspiration.”

Paul: “Come on Hilary, ‘Inspiration is for amateurs – the rest of us just show up and get to work.’[1]

Hilary: “Is that so?”

Paul: “Sure I mean, I am not saying that you shouldn’t be inspired sometimes. What I mean to say is that ‘Inspiration exists, but it should find you working.’[2]

Hilary: “Ow it’s like that huh! You are going to get all poetic on me now?”

Paul: “I’m just saying!”

Hilary: “So what about you lover boy, have you proposed to Michelle yet? I mean do you know that ‘Delay is the enemy of all progress?’[3]

Paul: “What’s progress got to do with it?”

Hilary: “Ow sweetheart, before you know it she will be progressing herself into some other man’s arms. You should ‘Never make a good woman wait.’[4] Continue reading