Connect with someone

When was the Last Time You Connected with Someone?

life transformationI just recently took a 5-day personal development course put on by Creators Code, called “The Launch” on June 1st. It transformed me to another chapter in my journey called ‘life’. This was no ordinary personal development course. It is an experiential course that was 10-12 hours each day and we dived in deep! This course really inspired me to write this post.

 

I am Like You So Listen

I am here today blogging not as a psychologist but rather as just me- Rosalyn. I am not wearing my therapist hat, the wife, mom, sister, or daughter hat, I am here just like you, a regular human being. I see myself first as a human and my other roles as secondary. And what I learned from this personal development course is that sometimes who I am as a therapist hijacks my ability to be human. Although I show up authentically real with my clients: supporting, loving, direct (I call bullshit when I see it), I also have parts of me that I don’t show, because it isn’t appropriate or professional.  No one wants to see their therapist have a meltdown, right?😉

So my point is that sometimes I fear that people will be shocked when I express the range of human experiences in my personal life because “I’m a therapist and I should know better”. But guess what?  I sometimes get angry and scream at my kids. Sometimes I play small because I don’t want to seem like I am bragging or being too much. Other times I have moments of self-consciousness about my body, sometimes I am guarded, sometimes I zone out on Facebook because I don’t want to deal with life. These all sound like familiar behaviors to some of you, right? Yeah, we all have tactics for showing up in the world as a way to emotionally protect ourselves.

Who You and I Really Are

My work is to help people come back into their wholeness and essence of who they were when they were born – which is pure love, light, and joy. I sometimes forget to do this for myself because I am so passionate about helping others. I forget about me, but during this course, I was able to reconnect with that little girl in me that remembers playfulness, silliness, coloring outside the lines, and being unapologetically me.

rediscover the little girl in you

Can you imagine a world where we could all get back to being in our true essence? When we didn’t have to please anyone, play small so we don’t have to hurt others’ feelings, or toughen up because we don’t feel safe, disconnect from our heart because someone hurt it too many times. Imagine if we could speak the truth to one another without worrying about offending anyone. What about receiving feedback from others without feeling judged or offended?

I have this dream and I truly believe I’m on the path to contributing to it both professionally and personally. My dream and passion are to become a conscious loving human being and help others do the same. This entails being so aware not only of ourselves but also of those around us. Being conscious and collective where we love our neighbors and strangers. Showing up with kindness and compassion to ourselves and one another. Can you imagine the ripple effects this would create out in the world if people started to raise their level of self-love and loving presence to one another? There would eventually be less war, less violence, less bullying, less judgment, less shame, less abuse, less racism, less oppression, and less hate. Instead, there would be more peace, love, environmental awareness, and happiness, within ourselves and with those around us. There would be a sense of community.

So my whole point of this is to share with you how precious you are and to reflect on who you are when you aren’t wearing your different masks. This dream starts by learning to love yourself.

We were all once a young child, precious, perfect, and sweet. Who wouldn’t want to go back to before all the rules and experiences came along; before people started  telling us how to behave or not to behave. When you get blamed, usually someone else allows themselves to judge what you did as bad and put that on you. Then we form a story that we are bad because we are told so. So go back to remembering who you are before all that happened. Most of us won’t be able to, but most of us can probably think of a little newborn baby and immediately we melt, we ooooh and ahhhhh, and we think this baby is perfect. Well, that baby still is the essence of you.

Baby blogging

An Experiment for You to Try

I have an experiment for you to try to create a powerful and heartwarming experience:

The next time you are with a loved one, it could be your partner, a dear friend, sibling, your child (best if the child is 6 or older), or parent. Tell them that you’d like to try connecting with them in a way that you may not have done in a long time, and it involves touch and silence and a lot of heart.

I invite you to face that person, and hold each other’s hands; just look at each other in the eyes, keep eye contact, and just see if you can really see them. I realize it may feel awkward at first., so let the awkward feelings come up. Breathe; let the awkwardness pass and breathe some more. See if you can even match the rhythm of your breath together as you continue to look into each other’s eyes. Keep breathing so that your breath connects with your heart and then your belly as you continue to hold your gaze with each other.connect with child

Many people believe that our eyes are the windows to our soul.

So notice that this person that’s in front of you once was a child, precious, perfect, and sweet. Also, notice that this part of them still lives in them. Then notice your own experience in your body as you become aware of the other person’s preciousness as well as your own. In that very moment, appreciate this about the other person and in yourself. In that moment you do not have to please, play small, wall up, avoid, zone out, get defensive, or whatever you do to protect yourself from the world. You are just you being here having this experience; you are connected in your essence. Continue reading

brotherly hug

2 Steps to Improve Strained Relations

Family Love

We’re coming to that family time of year. It’s a time when we gather together to celebrate, eat and drink too much and generally have a fabulous time.  And it’s also a time when we find ourselves getting together with people who may very well rub us up the wrong way – family members, who for one reason or another, we always find ourselves at odds with, who we’ve managed to avoid for most of the rest of the year.

Wayne Dyer once said that your friends are a way of compensating for your family. And there’s no doubt about it – families can be hard work. We often find ourselves in the midst of arguments or full-on shouting matches at a time when we should be enjoying the company of those we love.

So what can we do?

Well, here’s a two-step process that might help. Continue reading

This Made Me Happy – It Should Make You Too

My dear readers,

As you may already know, I was away for six weeks. I went to visit my family in Kenya.

Nothing is more precious than family and that made me extremely happy. Starting next week -God willingly – we will resume blogging.

My dear readers’ we have shared joy and pain, success and failure,  smooth-sailing and turbulence on THIS BLOG.

 

So I find it appropriate that I share with you some photos I took of the most memorable times for me in Kenya.

My home town

My home town

My home town

My daughter and niece

Me and my nephews!

Me and my nephews!

Driving to the hills

SAMSUNG

Away from all the noise

My daughter feeding giraffe -happy days!

Thank you and bless you all.

5 Areas To Look Into If You Want To Achieve Ultimate Well-being

Happy Family

Achieving the ultimate well-being with your family should be structured just like any other goal. Image by photostock

Do you find yourself saying “I’m so tired all the time” or “I just can’t get myself in the mood to do anything” or “I’m just not happy with my life”, then you know that it’s time for a change. There are many reasons as to why one may feel tired or unhappy with life. It would be hard to cover in one post all the things that one can do to be truly happy and achieve that true well-being that we all need and although life can be full of challenges at times, I do believe that everyone can achieve ultimate well-being. It does take commitment from your part and it takes looking into five key areas of your life that influence your overall life and well-being greatly. The five key areas are: sleep, your eating habits, your physical activity, your social life, and your mental/emotional aspect. Why these five areas of your life and not any other area? Because these are the areas (although there are many) that greatly influence everything in your life. Continue reading