depression and stress

Let Pain Be Your Teacher

With all the news on television, it appears as if there are those who are truly hurting in life. It is for this reason that this article is a must. Many times we want to either numb the pain or get rid of it because it can feel like too much. We are also wired to want to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Although it’s natural to want to avoid pain, pain is also natural and for a good reason. The good reason is that it is feedback.

“What kind of feedback?”, you may wonder. The kind of feedback will depend on where you are in life as well as the kind of pain that you are feeling. There are different degrees of pain and different kinds of pain and in order for you to know which one it is, it is important to go within yourself to find out.

There are emotional and mental pain and then there is physical pain. All these kinds of pain can be associated with the main pain that may have been ignored which is the spiritual pain. With emotional pain, I am referring to any sadness, anxiety, depression, anger, worry, desperation, among other things along these lines that one may feel. I consider them pain because when they are not addressed, they can paralyze and hinder you from living your everyday life.

With mental pain, I’m referring to two things: The first one is the physical symptoms that are associated with the emotional pain that one may feel. The physical symptoms may be consistent headaches, dizziness, or lightheadedness. The second include thoughts and perception. I include thoughts because our thoughts turn into emotions and actions and when the thoughts are not healthy ones, they can create havoc in our life. Our perception shapes the way we view and feel about the things around us and what happens to us and when the perception is not a healthy one, this can be disastrous to one’s well-being.

With physical pain, the list is very long to cover but some of them may include leg problems, high blood pressure due to stress, etc. One thing I must say is that if you feel any physical pain and it is consistent, please seek medical attention. If after seeking medical attention you don’t have any medical condition, then most likely what you’re feeling is psychosomatic symptoms.

Once the pain is there, what can one do about it? It’s easy to want to numb it by either going shopping, eating, drinking, partying, using drugs, among other things that one does to numb the pain. In today’s article, I would like to invite you to allow pain to be your teacher.

How do you allow pain to be your teacher?

emotional pain

 

  1. Admit to yourself that you feel pain. The first step to anything is to first recognize that something is going on. Notice how I didn’t write that something is wrong. I don’t write this because pain is there to advice you of something so this pain can’t be wrong. It’s just there to give you feedback and feedback is necessary so that changes can be made in order for things to be better. You can’t have a solution or answer without first recognizing and admitting that something is going on.
  2. Accept and embrace the pain. Accept and make friends with your pain. By doing this, you let go of the resistance. Holding on to resistance just make things worse and the pain persists.

How do you become friends with your pain?

mental [ain

Take that moment that you’re feeling that pain to be with yourself. If possible, take 10 minutes to yourself where you will not be disturbed. Take a deep breath in….and then breathe out. Do this a couple more times until you are relaxed. Place your hand on your chest or wherever you feel pain. Close your eyes if you have to but as you have your hand on your chest or wherever the pain is, ask yourself: “what do you want me to know?”; “why do you feel this way?”; “what is it that I am doing or not doing that you want me to be aware of?” Then wait to see if you get an answer. You may not get an answer right away but what you are doing by placing your hand on your chest, or wherever the pain is, and asking yourself these questions is that you are reconnecting with yourself. You are digging within for the answers that you need. You are digging within for your own wisdom.

For instance, if it’s anxiety you are feeling, ask yourself why you are feeling this way. Remind yourself that you are safe and loved. Ask it what it needs you to know and what should you be doing next. What this exercise that I am suggesting does is that it helps you reconnect with yourself because it is that connection with yourself that will lead you to greater well-being.

anxiety

Last year, I had pain in my knees for some odd reason. Turned out I had patella maltracking but I also questioned myself “how I got to that point?”. As I started digging deeper, I realized I had a lot of stress in my life and I was also struggling with some confidence issues in terms of how I was going to move forward.

With this exercise and article, I want to empower you to know that your body was meant to be healed. Your body is the vessel that your soul chose to reside in. Your pain is a reflection of something that is going on within you that calls your attention. So, I would like to encourage you to think about this pain for a minute. What kind of pain is it? Is it a pain of neglect, fear, lack, or worry? Allow the pain to speak to you and advice you as to what you need to be doing. The one thing to understand is that the soul is not separate from the body and anything that the soul is feeling, your body will feel by default.

The pain that you’re feeling will guide you to what area either within yourself or in your life you need to address. Allow that guidance to flow into your life. You have the best guidance system within you. Every time you feel any pain whether that is anxiety, sadness, depression, etc. all that pain is feedback from your soul and you must listen to that.

To end this article, I would like to encourage you to start viewing your pain from a perspective of your soul speaking to you through your vessel which is your body. Allow the pain to be your friend. It’s there to guide you, not hurt you. Place your hand on the area where the pain is and ask it questions. The point is to reconnect with yourself because it is there where your answers reside. You will notice as you do this that the pain tends to lessen and you are subconsciously empowering yourself. This empowerment, without you realizing it at first, will add greatly to your well-being.

Your pain can be a precious jewel if you allow it. Let pain be your teacher and show you what you need to be doing or going in life.


Aura Martinez

Aura Elena Martinez is a Wellness and Life Coach, Blogger and Writer, owner and founder of Live to the Max™

Aura Elena Martinez is a Wellness and Life Coach, Blogger and Writer, owner and founder of Live to the Max™/Viva al máximo™, who encourages others to live their fullest in every way, the way they are meant to be.

To be inspired or to contact Aura, visit http://www.auraemartinez.com/ or you can follow her on Twitter https://twitter.com/AuraEMartinez, you can also follow her online radio show at https://blogtalkradio.com/AuraEMartinez  or you can follow on Instagram @AuraEMartinez.

Shocking Revelation on Why You Quit Exercise!

why you quit exercise

You could be exercising and eating right and still not getting the results you should. You know why? The surprising answer could be that you are suffering from the “nocebo” effect. It’s the evil twin brother of the “placebo” effect. Continue reading

3 Steps to Successful Stress Management

 

Stressed woman

You can cope with stress if you have the right tools. Image by africa

Previously I talked about “The Crippling Effect of Stress on Your Organs”. We discussed the negative physical effects caused by stress ranging from heart problems to multiple sclerosis (MS).

Managing stress is all about taking charge of your life and your attitude towards dealing with problems.

Today we are going to look at the 3 steps that will help you manage and even overcome stress so that you don’t have to worry about the damage that stress can do to your body.

Step 1: Identify Source of Stress

Young woman pondering

The first step is successfully identifying the source of your stress.
photo by stock images

Let’s face it; identifying the source of stress in our lives is easier said than done. We can easily overlook our own negative behaviour such as stress-inducing thoughts and negative attitudes. Continue reading

Make Fear Your Friend to Achieve Your Goals

Fear – we all hate that feeling of being uncomfortable and scared. Fear also shows up in anxiety, overwhelm , feeling stuck, and self-doubt. Fear has many masks.

However it shows up for you, fear stops you from taking action to go to the next level in your life. As a result, you can’t live in your highest version of yourself and be happier.

Let me use this analogy to help you understand conceptually how you may be allowing fear to keep you playing small.

If you look at a spaceship, it needs to have to enough momentum to escape the gravitational force field in order to enter space. Once the rocket enters space, then it’s smooth gliding from there and the view is phenomenal, isn’t it?

Now imagine that YOU are the spaceship and the gravitational force field is your comfort zone, and outside of your comfort zone is fear. You need to have enough momentum and energy to take yourself past this force field in order to really get to where you need to get to when it comes to achieving your goals – whether that’s making new friends, trying a new hobby, changing your relationship with food, achieving your dream body, starting a new business or letting go of a toxic relationship.

comfortzone

Once you achieve your goal, you experience a state of feeling exhilarated, powerful, and proud of yourself, amongst other amazing feelings. It’s truly incredible how the Universe really does provide you the supports you need to help you get to where you want to go, when you are truly opened to it.

Whatever your “goal” is, let yourself make friends with fear, because without it, your goals are not challenging you enough to get you into your Highest Self. So making friends with fear is about leaning into the resistance, rather than avoiding or fighting it.

Here’s an example. My client Kate (note: name is changed to maintain confidentiality) came to see me because she wants to lose weight and feels frustrated with not achieving this goal. She has been following a very structured eating plan. However, her approach to her relationship with food has her constantly obsessed with it- from the amount of time she has to take planning and prepping so that she eats the perfect amount of protein, carbs, fats down to the measurement, to thinking about the next meal she eats, to figuring out how to sneak in that cupcake and then work out extra hard so she can eat it, to overindulging at parties at the bread and dessert table, to obsessing over the number on the scale and getting frustrated that the results are not happening fast enough…she cannot stop obsessing about food, and it completely controls her life. She’s constantly thinking or talking about losing weight to her friends and family.

What I invite Kate to do next is to learn to let go of control in her relationship with food. The very aspect that keeps her tight and controlled is the same aspect that is keeping her playing small and “falsely safe”. Letting go of control of course brings up extreme amount of discomfort and fear. “If I let go of being so structured and controlling with food, how will I ever lose weight?!” This does not make sense to Kate because her fear makes her believe that letting go emotionally and mentally is equivalent of letting herself go physically.  In fact, this is not true.

Kate needs the “momentum” of learning to face her fear and work through it, which is where I come in to support and guide her with strategies so that she can pierce past the boundaries of her comfort zone (that is, how she was going into relationship with food).

After only working with Kate for a few sessions and having her understand the negative impact control had over her in mind, body and spirit, and learning tools to approach her relationship with food and her body in a more loving, gentle way, she started to lose the weight. Today, Kate has lost her goal weight and more importantly, speaks to herself kindly and feels at peace in her relationship with food. She is “soaring” and feeling free! Yay Kate!

If you’re inspired and resonate with Kate’s story, I’d love to support you as a Self-Love IMG_0909Transformational Coach!

Go ahead and book in a complimentary strategy session with me now to see how I can best help you achieve your goals! I’d absolutely love to!🙂

Rosalyn Fung, M.Sc., is the Founder of Holistic Body Love. You can learn more about her on her website here.

whole world in her hand - live your life

A Life Coach’s Guide to Living by Choice not by Chance

Each day we make choices that influence our pace and quality of life, and many of these are unconscious. While it’s a good thing we don’t have to think about every little choice we make, when it comes to creating a whole, fulfilled, balance between work-related activities and the rest-of-our-life activities… it’s a good idea to wake up and smell the proverbial coffee. Otherwise, we can find ourselves living with the effect of our choices such as feeling overwhelmed, stressed, unhealthy, or out of control.

making choices

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”-Nelson Mandela

This is not about right or wrong, good or bad. I believe there are no mistakes, simply lessons learned. Living by choice, not by chance requires us to take responsibility for our own life. We get to choose if our experiences will be a sentence, paragraph, page or a chapter(s) in our life’s story.

So let’s get started…shall we?

blackline

Do the following calculation:

  • Subtract your current age from 90
  • Add two zeros to the answer
  • Divide that number in two

*This is roughly how many weeks you have left on this Earth, assuming you live to a very ripe old age.

If you smoke and don’t look after yourself properly, subtract 1,200 weeks.

It’s time to live by choice, not by chance. Here’s how:

LET GO: Release those people, places and things that no longer serve you. You have the power to forgive an apology you never received, past hurts that keep you resentful, and folks that drain your energy. Let go. Start anew.

CHECKLIST of things to let go:

  • Toxicity
  • Clutter
  • Blocks
  • Negativity
  • Comparison
  • Need to Please
  • Distractions
  • Old Belief System
  • Anger/Resentment
  • Ego

QUESTION: If not now, when?

ACTION: Let go of something that no longer serves you Continue reading