Do you set goals with excitement and gung-ho attitude that you are going to “crush” your goals, have fantastic energy and momentum at the start, make some great progress, but maybe a few weeks later, you find yourself slowing down, or perhaps even feeling unmotivated?
Why does this happen and more importantly, how can you make sure to see your goals through?
To understand how our brain works, picture an iceberg which will be representative of our brain. The tip of the iceberg that is visible symbolizes our conscious brain, which is only about 10% of our brain. This part of our brain stores both conscious and unconscious core beliefs. Core beliefs are the files we have that open up and have us react to situations in a certain way because of what we believe, which are formed unconsciously in childhood. These beliefs can serve us or not serve us today. The rest of the iceberg, which is 90%, is our unconscious brain, stores unconscious beliefs.
We consciously set goals, or another word for this is setting INTENTIONS. So for example, when it comes to weight loss, you may set an intention to lose 20 pounds to improve your health. Let’s say you manage to stay on track to lose 10 pounds over the next eight weeks. Then the next couple weeks, you find yourself starting to eat more foods that do not serve your goals, you are exercising less often and you find yourself giving into your excuses. You even gain back four pounds.
What’s happening? Why are you getting off track from your intention?
Because somewhere in your unconscious part of your brain, you have limiting unconscious beliefs that are sabotaging your efforts. It may sound like, “I am not worthy of my desires”, “It is not safe to be in this body” (usually comes up in cases where a person has been abused as a child), “I do not deserve success”. Again these messages were created unconsciously as a young child (usually) based on our family system, and experiences with peers, teachers, and other influential people in our lives.
So even though you consciously are telling yourself, “Yes I REALLY do want to lose 20 pounds”, there is somewhere inside, unconsciously that does not agree with this. It’s based on fear.
So then, how can you make sure to see your goals through? Here is a blue print for you:
- Write down your intentions/goals specifically. Track your progress. Remember, results are a reflection of what is happening in the unconscious brain. When you achieve results, your conscious and unconscious beliefs are in alignment. When you only make it up to a certain progress, then your conscious and unconscious minds are not matching.
- If you notice you are plateauing, sabotaging, or regressing in your goals, take some time to write down honestly what is going on.
So in the example above, it’s acknowledging what is going on regarding behaviors. Writing down statements such as: “I am choosing to eat when I am bored, stressed or to reward myself.” “I am choosing to get distracted by unimportant things rather than work out.” Note the language that you are choosing to do these behaviors.
- This next step can be a difficult one because you are addressing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings as you dig deeper into your unconscious:
Perhaps you do not feel safe in your body because of past experiences such as being bullied and teased for your body size; your body betrayed you someway with an illness, or you were sexually abused so you cannot trust that your body keeps you safe, because it did not.
Many times, what I see is that as my clients are losing weight, they are getting more attention. This makes them uncomfortable in their body, because of their past experiences. This is a good step to connect with a trained professional such as a coach or therapist to support you in this step to work through these unconscious core beliefs. We are wounded in relationships, so it only makes sense to be healed in relationships (starting with that of a trained professional).
- Address how you will work through these limiting beliefs. A good start is to create a statement called an affirmation, that is the opposite of your limiting belief. So following the above example:
“ I am safe in this body now”. Repeat this statement consciously multiple times a day, especially when you are feeling triggered in feeling uncomfortable. In many ways, you are re-parenting your inner child.
You can also create concrete examples of how to cope with stress, boredom and rewards without turning to food. This is all about changing your self-talk and behaviors to support your new positive self-talk.
- Get support. Once again, a mindset coach and/or a like-minded group can be extremely helpful to keep your accountability. Research shows that in the absence of the right support, unfortunately, environment always wins. So it’s important to surround yourself with like-minded, positive people who can cheer-lead and believe in you.
I hope this article helps you create breakthroughs to crush those goals this year! I’d love to support you if that resonates with you!
Rosalyn Fung, M.Sc., is Founder of Holistic Body Love Coaching Inc.,
a Self-Love Transformational Coach & Registered Psychologist.
She loves inspiring others to be empowered in their relationship with food, body, money, health, confidence, and living a joyful and abundant life.
To schedule your COMPLIMENTARY strategy session to see how she can support you in achieving your goals, book here.